It's time again for
the annual "Stella Awards."
For those unfamiliar with these
awards, they are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
spilled hot coffee on herself and
successfully sued the McDonald's
in New Mexico , where she
purchased coffee. You
remember, she took the lid off the
coffee and put it between her
knees while she was driving.
Who would ever think one could get
burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for
the most outlandish lawsuits and
verdicts in the
U.S. You know, the
kinds of cases that make you
scratch your head. So keep
your head scratcher handy.
Here are the Stellas
for the past year:
* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin,
Texas, was awarded $80,000 by
a jury of her peers after
breaking her ankle tripping
over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture
store. The store owners
were understandably surprised
by the verdict, considering
the running toddler was her
own son.
Start scratching!
* SIXTH
PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los
Angeles , California , won
$74,000 plus medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his
hand with a Honda Accord.
Truman apparently didn't
notice there was someone at
the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his
neighbor's hubcaps.
Scratch some
more...
* FIFTH
PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of
Bristol , Pennsylvania ,
who was leaving a house he had
just burglarized by way of the
garage. Unfortunately
for Dickson, the automatic
garage door opener
malfunctioned and he could not
get the garage door to
open. Worse, he couldn't
re-enter the house because the
door connecting the garage to
the house locked when Dickson
pulled it shut. Forced
to sit for eight, count'em,
EIGHT days and survive on a
case of Pepsi and a large bag
of dry dog food, he sued the
homeowner's insurance company
claiming undue mental
anguish. Amazingly, the
jury said the insurance
company must pay Dickson
$500,000 for his
anguish. We should all
have this kind of
anguish. Keep scratching
.. There are more......
Double hand
scratching after this
one.....
* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little
Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th
Place in the Stella's when he
was awarded $14,500 plus
medical expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next
door neighbor's beagle - even
though the beagle was on a
chain in its owner's fenced
yard. Williams did not
get as much as he asked for
because the jury believed the
beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the
butt bite because Williams had
climbed over the fence into
the yard and repeatedly shot
the dog with a pellet gun.
Pick a new spot to
scratch, you're getting a
bald spot..
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, because a jury
ordered a Philadelphia
restaurant to pay her $113,500
after she slipped on a spilled
soft drink and broke her
tailbone. The reason the
soft drink was on the floor:
Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
Only two more so
ease up on the
scratching....
*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont
, Delaware , sued the
owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell
from the bathroom window to
the floor, knocking out her
two front teeth. Even
though Ms. Walton was trying
to sneak through the ladies
room window to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge, the
jury said the night club had
to pay her $12,000 ...... oh,
yeah, plus dental
expenses.
OK.
Here we go!!
* FIRST
PLACE *
This year's runaway First
Place Stella Award winner
was: Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma
City , Oklahoma , who
purchased a new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On
her first trip home, from an
OU football game, having
driven on to the freeway, she
set the cruise control at 70
mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go to the
back of the Winnebago to make
herself a sandwich. Not
surprisingly, the motor home
left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not
surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski
sued Winnebago for not putting
in the owner's manual that she
couldn't actually leave the
driver's seat while the cruise
control was set.
The Oklahoma jury
awarded her -- are you sitting
down? --- $1,750,000 PLUS a
new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed
their manuals as a result of
this suit, just in case Mrs.
Grazinski has any relatives
who might also buy a motor
home.
Are we, as a society,
getting more stupid ....
or are more members of
Congress
serving on juries
these days?