Some old, and/or, some older then the others
 
 
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I’m
in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 


'Sure.'


'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.


'No, I can remember it.'


'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too.  
Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a 
bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain 
you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it 
down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 
20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon 
and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
 
'Where's my toast?'
 
Hospital regulations
require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting
on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
 

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four
thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.  It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the
doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple
of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 
'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
 
One more!

A little old man
shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and 
pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered
a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'