Lexophile"
is a word used to
describe those
that have a love
for words, such as
"you can tune a
piano, but you
can't tuna fish",
or "to write with
a broken pencil is
pointless." A
competition to see
who can come up
with the best
lexophiles is held
every year in an
undisclosed
location. Here are
this year's
winning
submissions:
...
When fish are in
schools, they
sometimes take
debate.
...
A thief who stole
a calendar got
twelve months.
...
When the smoglifts
in Los Angeles
U.C.L.A.
...
The batterieswere
given out free of
charge.
...
A dentist and
amanicurist
married. They
fought tooth and
nail.
...
A will is a dead
giveaway.
...
With her marriage,
she got a new name
and a dress.
...
A boiled egg is
hard to beat.
...
When you've seen
one shopping
center you've seen
a mall.
...
Police were
summoned to a
daycare center
where a
three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
...
Did you hear about
the fellow whose
entire left side
was cut off?
He's all right now.
...
A bicycle can't
stand alone; it's
just two tired.
...
When a clock is
hungry it goes
back four seconds.
...
The guy who fell
onto an upholstery
machine is now
fully recovered.
...
He had a
photographic
memory which was
never developed.
...
When she saw her
first strands of
grey hair she
thought she'd dye.
...
Acupuncture is a
jab well done.
That's the point
of it.
And
finally:
...
Those who get too
big for their
britches will be
totally exposed in
the end.