Kentuckians,
Tennesseans
and West
Virginians
will no longer
be referred to
as
'HILLBILLIES.'
You
must now refer
to them as
HOW
TO SPEAK ABOUT
WOMEN AND BE
POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
1.
She is not a
'BABE' or a
'CHICK' - She
is a
2.
She is not
'EASY' - She
is
'HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE.'
3.
She is not a
'DUMB BLONDE'
- She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4.
She has not
'BEEN AROUND'
- She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
COMPANION.'
5.
She does not
'NAG' you -
She becomes
6.
She is not a
'TWO-BIT
HOOKER' - She
is a
HOW
TO SPEAK ABOUT
MEN AND
BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
1.
He does not
have a 'BEER
GUT' - He has
developed a
'LIQUID
GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.'
2.
He is not a
'BAD DANCER' -
He is
3.
He does not
'GET LOST ALL
THE TIME' - He
'
INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.'
4.
He is not
'BALDING' - He
is in
5.
He does not
act like a
'TOTAL
ASS' -
He develops a
case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.'
6.
It's not his
'CRACK'
you
see hanging
out of his
pants - It's